Recently i went in a wedding and believe me it was quite a boring one.. ;) .. i hardly knew people there and had to go just for the sake of . i was so tired giving those fake smiles and socialising.. Being from a marwari background, (sorry no offence to anyone) i should excel in it. But somehow , i cant pretend..I cant communicate very well with the people whom i dont know much or with whom my view points dont match. (i know i need to improve on this) . You go in any social gathering, the ladies would be staring at your outfit and jewellery on one hand and talking to you on the other.. as in kahin pe nigahen, kahin pe nishana!!..full body scanning from tip to toe. ;).. Its so irritating, i mean do you mind looking at my face or into my eyes and talk to me?? I mean i dont know how can people have something in their heart and head and something else on the face. I know i have landed myself into problems also due to this but its not my cup of tea. I am quite bad at it. Yes i agree, i have learnt it somewhat after my marriage because its quite obvious you cant be whatever you want to.. You have to agree to so many things which you dont believe. You have to nod your head even on things that you dislike and yes you must keep that smile always on your face otherwise you are termed as a SNOB...I must say,, Pretending is an art in itself!!
But then giving a second thought, i feel that pretence is important in today's world. If you are too straightforward, u might make things lil difficult for yourself. Of course there has to be some honesty and integrity within a person. I mean untill you are good at heart and not hurt anyone , acting smart or pretending is not bad. But yea, u have to be careful what you pretend to be because u are what you pretend to be..
Inspite of so much of pretence in our lives and so many fake relations, i was just wondering the other day that half of our time ( especially the gurlz), goes in worrying about others, about taking tensions for no reason. At times we feel guilty about not doing something, then guilty for doing it, we feel guilty for eating, for spending, for not being punctual, for thinking of ourselves first, for having fun, for loving, for hating, for indulging. We feel guilty for being guilty!! for heaven's sake!! And so at times i really feel that i am really not answerable to anyone but to myself.. If i know what i am doing or saying is right and does not harm anyone, why should anyone be allowed to make me guilty?? i know its easier said than done, but i guess all of us should try n live without guilt!! I am sure people who are very good in pretending, know how to impress everyone, get their work done and bid goodbye!! They hardly bother about anything and about the guilt pangs?? - no chance!! But whatever it may take, neither i can ever be shrewd and selfish nor i would want people around me to be such!!
But all said and done, as long as it keeps people around you happy and doesnt harm anyone, fake it baby!!! No matter where or what, there are makers, takers and fakers.. And Me, in the coming years, hopefully should learn this skill so that it helps me communicate better and get my work done!! (hope mummyji is not reading this!! ;-) )
As i read somewhere - "Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, Keep Pretending!! ;-)